What the data actually shows
The share of adults who are unpartnered has risen substantially over recent decades. Pew Research Center has documented a growing proportion of U.S. adults who are neither married nor living with a partner, driven by people marrying later, more people staying single, and changes in how relationships form. Singlehood is now a mainstream, common adult status rather than an exception.
Research by Bella DePaulo on what she calls 'singlism' documents that single people are routinely stereotyped as less happy, less mature and less fulfilled — despite evidence that many are thriving. Her work, and the broader literature, argues that the assumed advantage of marriage is often overstated and partly an artefact of how studies are designed.
On wellbeing specifically, the picture is more nuanced than 'married people are happier.' Much of the apparent gap reflects selection — people who were already happier or more advantaged are more likely to marry and stay married — and the wellbeing boost around marriage often fades back toward where people started. Single people, meanwhile, frequently maintain stronger, broader networks of friends and family, which are themselves robust contributors to wellbeing.
Why this feels different from how it actually is
The cultural narrative is heavily weighted toward coupling. Films, advertising, family expectations and everyday small talk treat a long-term partnership as the natural destination, so being single can feel like falling short of a milestone everyone else is reaching — even when the population data shows huge numbers of people in the same situation.
Single people also field a steady stream of subtle messaging that something is missing or temporary — the assumption that you must be looking, the pity, the 'you'll find someone.' DePaulo's concept of singlism captures how this stereotyping operates even when it's well-meaning, and it can make contentment feel like something you have to defend.
The visibility is lopsided, too. Partnerships are publicly celebrated and announced; the quiet satisfactions of a full single life — friendships, freedom, solitude, chosen routines — don't come with weddings or anniversaries, so they're easy to overlook in the cultural tally of what counts as a good life.
What the research says to do about it
The wellbeing research points consistently to social connection, broadly defined, as a core ingredient of a good life — and that connection does not require a romantic partner. Single people who invest in friendships, family and community tend to report strong wellbeing, and these wider networks are well supported as contributors to health and happiness.
Pursuing relationships you actually want is reasonable; so is being content single. The honest reading of the data is that relationship status is far less decisive for happiness than the quality of your connections and the fit between your life and what you value. Neither coupling nor staying single is the 'right answer' the research endorses.
Where loneliness is the real concern — for some single people, and some partnered ones too — the evidence supports addressing connection directly rather than treating a partner as the only solution. Friendship, community and meaningful activity move loneliness, and they're available regardless of relationship status.
What the research says does not help
Treating marriage or a partner as a guaranteed upgrade to happiness is not supported. Much of the married-versus-single wellbeing gap reflects who tends to marry in the first place, and the lift around marriage commonly fades back toward a person's baseline. A relationship entered to fix unhappiness frequently doesn't.
Internalising the stereotype that single equals lonely or incomplete tends to make single life feel worse than it is. DePaulo's work suggests the stigma — singlism — is part of what burdens single people, not the status itself. Measuring your life against a coupling timeline that no longer describes the population manufactures a deficit that the data doesn't show.
Pity and the assumption that you must be actively searching, often delivered with good intentions, don't help either — they reframe a normal, common, frequently happy situation as a problem to be solved, regardless of whether the person experiences it that way.
Real numbers in context
The share of adults who are unpartnered has risen substantially in recent decades, with Pew Research Center documenting a growing proportion of U.S. adults who are neither married nor cohabiting. Treat single life as a mainstream status: a very large number of adults share it, including many who are content.
On wellbeing, the often-cited advantage of marriage is real in places but smaller and more conditional than commonly assumed — heavily shaped by selection effects (who marries) and by the quality of the relationship, with the boost frequently fading over time. Single people's wider friend and family networks are a genuine and well-supported source of wellbeing, which is part of why happy single lives are common rather than rare.