What the data actually shows
Research on savoring (Jordi Quoidbach and colleagues, among others) explores how people derive enjoyment from positive experiences — and a recurring theme is that we often fail to capitalise on pleasures that are readily available. When something good feels constantly accessible, it loses its sense of occasion, and we defer it indefinitely rather than actually engaging with it.
A related line of work on 'saving for a special occasion' finds that people frequently hoard nice things — a good bottle, a special outfit, a gift — waiting for a moment worthy of them, and that the awaited occasion often never comes, so the item goes unused or wasted. The instinct to preserve the special thing can quietly prevent us from ever enjoying it.
On the mechanics, present bias — our tendency to overweight the immediate over the future — favours the easy default now over the more effortful good thing. There is also an 'activation energy' cost: the meaningful activity usually requires more setup than the passive alternative. And anticipation research suggests that looking forward to something can itself be pleasurable, and sometimes feel safer than the act, which can subtly reinforce keeping the experience in the future rather than the present.
Why this feels different from how it actually is
It feels different from ordinary procrastination because there is no obvious cost. Putting off a chore has a looming consequence; putting off a pleasure or a meaningful goal has none that announces itself, so it never triggers the urgency that would push us to act. The thing we want simply stays parked in 'later.'
'Someday' also feels infinite. As long as the experience seems endlessly available, there is no reason to choose it today over anything else — and so we never do. The very abundance of opportunity removes the scarcity that makes us act, which is why readily available pleasures are so easy to keep deferring.
And anticipation can feel better, or at least safer, than the thing itself. Looking forward to a trip, a project, or a long-wanted experience carries no risk of disappointment, awkwardness, or effort. Keeping it in the future preserves the pleasant anticipation and avoids the gamble of the real attempt, which makes deferral quietly tempting.
'Someday' only keeps its grip while it stays unexamined.
What the research says to do about it
The most consistent counter to deferral is to remove the indefiniteness — to give the good thing a time, not just an intention. Because 'someday' has no deadline, the experiences that get done are usually the ones that get scheduled. Putting a meaningful or enjoyable activity on the calendar converts an open-ended wish into a concrete plan.
Treating availability as scarcer than it feels helps too. The savoring research suggests that we under-enjoy what feels constantly accessible, so deliberately framing a pleasure as a now-or-not opportunity — using the nice thing, taking the experience while you can — counteracts the 'always available later' trap that leads to saving things into oblivion.
Lowering the activation energy makes the meaningful option more likely to win against the easy default. Reducing the setup required, removing small frictions, and making the good thing the path of least resistance all help present bias work for you rather than against you. And simply naming the pattern — recognising that you keep deferring something you genuinely want — is itself a documented prompt to act.
What the research says does not help
Waiting for the perfect occasion does not help — it is one of the main ways good things go unused. The 'special occasion' that justifies the saved bottle, the unworn outfit, or the long-planned trip often never arrives, so hoarding the experience for a worthier moment tends to mean never having it at all.
Relying on future motivation rarely works, because present bias predictably favours the easy default again tomorrow. Telling yourself you will do the meaningful thing when you feel more like it usually just relocates the deferral; the conditions you are waiting for are no more likely to appear later than now.
And over-investing in anticipation as a substitute for action can quietly prevent the experience. Endlessly looking forward to something, while comfortable and even pleasurable, can become a way of keeping it safely in the future rather than ever risking the real, imperfect, present-tense version of it.
The experiences that get done are usually the ones that get scheduled.
What this looks like in real life
The bottle saved for a special occasion
A good bottle sits in the cupboard for years, waiting for a moment worthy of it. The instinct to preserve the special thing feels responsible, but the worthy occasion never quite arrives — and eventually the bottle is past its best, or forgotten. Hoarding the experience for a better moment turned out to mean never having it at all.
The trip that stays in 'someday'
The long-wanted trip keeps getting deferred, not because anything blocks it but because it never feels urgent — there's always next year. And looking forward to it carries no risk of effort or disappointment, while actually booking it does. Anticipation is comfortable enough that it can quietly substitute for the trip itself. Giving it a date on the calendar is what converts the wish into a plan.
Real numbers in context
This topic is better captured by patterns than by precise statistics, and any hard number here should be treated cautiously. The well-supported findings are qualitative: people under-enjoy readily available pleasures (savoring research), commonly save special things for occasions that never come, and are pulled toward easy defaults by present bias and activation-energy costs.
The honest takeaway is directional rather than numerical. Deferring things we genuinely want is common and has identifiable causes — 'always available later,' the wait for a special occasion, the pull of the easy default, and the safety of anticipation. Because the causes are nameable, the pattern is workable: scheduling the good thing, treating it as scarce, and lowering the effort to start are the steps the research most supports.